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Wedding Traditions

Vietnam Wedding Traditions & Ceremonies

A researched guide to 6 traditional wedding ceremonies from 3 cultural traditions in Vietnam.

Kinh (Vietnamese majority)

Pre-wedding

Asking to Receive the Bride

Common

The groom's family formally asks permission from the bride's family to receive the bride for the wedding.

Timing: Before the wedding dayWho takes part: Groom's family, Bride's family

Key elements

  • Gift of betel nuts. Informal setting with snacks and drinks in modern times.
Source: en.wikipedia.org

Engagement Ceremony (English)(Đám Hỏi)

𠸄𠎺
Common

An official announcement of the upcoming wedding, where the groom's family brings offerings to the bride's home.

Timing: Half a year or so before the weddingWho takes part: Groom's family and friends, Bride's family and friends, representatives from both families

Key elements

  • Offerings (fruits, betel leaves, areca leaves, wine, tea, cakes, tobacco, jewelry, roasted pig) in odd-numbered lacquer boxes (mâm quả) covered in red cloth. Incense burning at ancestral altar. Bride receives engagement jewelry (ring, earrings, kièng). Attire: Áo dài or formal Western clothing.
Source: en.wikipedia.org

Combing the Bride's Hair

Optional

The mother of the bride combs her daughter's hair as a symbol of their last moment together before marriage, offering advice on being a good wife and daughter-in-law.

Timing: Night before the weddingWho takes part: Bride, Bride's Mother

Key elements

  • Hair combing. Emotional moment, often marked with sadness. Represents strong mother-daughter bond.
Source: en.wikipedia.org

Wedding day

Arrival at Bride's Home / Welcoming the Groom's Procession

Mandatory

The groom's procession arrives at the bride's home, fireworks are lit, and the bride's family welcomes them. Gifts are presented and unwrapped.

Timing: Upon arrival at the bride's homeWho takes part: Groom's family, Bride's family, groomsmen, bridesmaids

Key elements

  • Fireworks, exchange of gifts (mâm quả), unwrapping of gifts. Groom bows to bride's parents and gives bride a bouquet of flowers.
Source: en.wikipedia.org

Tay

Pre-wedding

Engagement

Mandatory

The two families decide on the wedding day and betrothal presents. The boy’s family must choose a good date.

Timing: After official proposal, typically two or three years before wedding historicallyWho takes part: Boy's family, girl's family, relatives

Key elements

  • Betrothal offerings (historically: 42 big banh day, 1 plate small banh day, 4 roosters, 4 hens, 2 plates sticky rice, 4kg pork, 2 bottles wine, 100 betel leaves, 12 areca nuts
  • nowadays: VND 10 million, roast pig, 80kg pork, 2 roosters, 2 hens, 2 bottles wine, 2 cartons cigarettes, 100 betel leaves, 12 areca nuts, pipe tobacco, artocarpus tonkinensis tree bark). Marks official promise
  • compensation for breaking pledge.
Source: vietnamlawmagazine.vn

Thai

Pre-wedding

Engagement

Mandatory

The boy's family prepares betrothal offerings and visits the girl's family to finalize the engagement and agree on the wedding day.

Timing: After proposal, before matrilocal residenceWho takes part: Boy's family (matchmaker, female matchmaker, groom, groomsman, uncle and wife, 12-15 assistants), girl's family

Key elements

  • Betrothal offerings: money, two roosters, 30kg rice, pig, 10L rice wine, cakes, sweets, fruits, sugar, betel leaves, areca nuts. Two baskets of offerings (one for girl's family, one for maternal family). Silver bracelets for the girl. Bride's family offers pillows, headdresses, cushions, fruits, cakes, sweets, tea, cigarettes to groom's family. Groom's family gives bride cloth for blankets/pillows.
Source: vietnamlawmagazine.vn

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